When a friend begins criticizing their appearance, it can be difficult to know how to respond.

The instinct may be to dismiss their concerns or to counter by criticizing your own body to make them feel less alone. However, such reactions may inadvertently cause more harm than good.

The Harm of Negative Body Talk

Engaging in negative discussions about body weight, shape, or appearance, known as "body talk," can have a damaging effect on both the speaker and those who hear it. Studies show that even hearing negative remarks about bodies can lead to increased dissatisfaction, guilt, and shame.

For example, a study involving college women found that hearing just two brief comments comparing themselves to magazine models resulted in heightened body dissatisfaction. This response is not limited to women; men are also affected by such remarks. These kinds of conversations can also reinforce harmful attitudes and contribute to discrimination against people with larger bodies.

When someone criticizes their own body, it can inadvertently lead to a broader cultural acceptance of body-shaming. It may also foster a feeling of discomfort for others who may feel alienated or judged. The practice of making negative comments about personal appearance can send a harmful message about how others' bodies are viewed, even when that is not the intention.

How to Respond to Body-Shaming Remarks

It’s essential to offer support without reinforcing negative body commentary. Here are some ways to respond when a friend speaks poorly of their body:

1. Validate Their Feelings

Offer empathy by acknowledging their emotions. A simple, “sorry you’re feeling down about yourself,” can show that you care. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, try to steer the conversation away from body concerns by suggesting activities that take the focus off appearance.

2. Avoid Negative Body Comments of Your Own

In an effort to make the person feel less alone, it might seem helpful to share your own insecurities. However, this only reinforces the cycle of negative body talk. Instead of joining in with your own criticisms, focus on topics unrelated to physical appearance. This approach sets a better example of how to break free from harmful body-focused discussions.

3. Don’t Try to Change Their Mind

When a friend expresses dissatisfaction with their body, it might be tempting to argue that they are wrong. However, trying to convince them that they are mistaken may only cause further distress. Instead, try offering a listening ear and provide gentle support, acknowledging their feelings without judgment.

4. Shift the Conversation

Redirect the conversation to something more positive. Discuss a recent accomplishment, a fun event, or a shared memory. This helps to move the focus away from body appearance and towards more meaningful topics.

5. Encourage Gratitude

A helpful strategy is to encourage your friend to reflect on something positive about the body part they’re criticizing. For example, if someone expresses dissatisfaction with their thighs, suggest they focus on the positive aspects, like how those thighs help them walk and enjoy physical activities.

6. Promote Healthy Conversations

If negative body talk is a recurring issue, consider having a more in-depth conversation about why you aim to avoid such discussions. A private, open talk can help reinforce the idea of positive body image and the importance of focusing on self-care rather than appearance.

7. Encourage Professional Support

If a friend’s body image concerns seem to go beyond casual remarks, it may be helpful to encourage them to seek professional guidance. A therapist, dietitian, or medical professional can assist in addressing any unhealthy patterns of thought or behavior related to body image.

In conclusion, responding with empathy and encouraging healthier habits can help break the cycle of negative body talk, leading to better mental well-being and a more positive approach to body image.